Heartbroken..heartbeat.....heart....ah...forget it....

Malan semalam, out of blue, Six msg aku, "Feng". Aku xdak cred so aku pnjm hp Jija msg la kata aku xdak cred, mo apa. Then dia call, aku mcm nak angkat ka dak....then aku angkat. So mcm besa, kami borak2, mcm besa gak la, tone yg besa.... Kalau x silap aku, masa dia first tpon tu dia kata, "Hi sayang", aku like "what?...oi...". Then dia gelak. Dia tnya aku kat sini lagi ke la apa la. Dia kata dia tau aku dok mana, kawan dia besa nmpk aku kat sg.2 tggu bas tapi xtau katne. Stalker. Ceh.. Then, tetiba, "Feng, jom kita jumpa". Aku like, "what? No....." then dia start begging, jom la jumpa....dinner la, apa la....mggu depan lam selasa ke rabu. Aku....xmo.... Then dia like "ala...jom la..makan2 jek". Then bla..bla...bla... then bye feng... End jek call dia, aku tros nanges. Napa? aku pun xtau. Aku sayang dia lagi? No.......dia da lama xdek lam hati aku. GD ada la lam hati aku, Fara ngan Yus tau mati aku. Hahahhaha. My hand trembling so terribly, shaken so much. My body also tremble. Why? I rea;ly can't figure out why. Why? Until now he want to hold on me. Wasn't it alrealdy over for about 2 or 3 years? Then just let me go. Aku msg dia, "No....aku xmo jumpa dia, hidup aku sgt bek, aman, tlg jangan muncul da, aku da nekad sgt2 xmo jumpa dia...bla..bla..bla.." Dia balas kat hp Jija kata "Jmpk ja, bkn ada apa". Aku malas da, then dia msg kat hp aku. "Feng...sekali jer...pastu 6 janji, 6 xkn wujud dlm hdp feng sampai feng hidupkn 6 blik...maybe ney last chapter utk s6x dan arfeng a.k.a psycho path.." How..... Napa dia ckp mcm tu...kalau betul dia sayang aku, napa dia wat aku mcm tu dlu....ayat dia..... "...sampai feng hidupkan 6 blik"..apa tu... Aku just da terlalu penat ngan dia. Aku xmo dia. Tuhan...tlglah, jauhkan jodoh aku ngan dia. Biarpun aku andartu, aku xkan nak ngan dia da. Cukuplah, sbb dia aku takut utk bercinta... sbb dia aku benci ngan perkataan cinta, sbb dia aku benci org bercinta n bodoh2 tunduk pada cinta, aku even x caya pada cinta, even benci dgn simbol n perkataan tu. Mood aku sgt trok pagi tadi, suma bende nak marah. No....aku xkan jumpa dia. Terserempak lantak la. Biar dia rasa apa yg aku rasa. Bkn aku nak balas dendam, tapi aku nekad xmo jumpa dia. For what? The end for our chapter? It's already end for a long time ago. If he think that our chapter not ended yet, just let it be, for me, it already end for a long...long time and I never, ever want to think and feel it again. So lets say we meet, then? I knew it for sure that I will be suffer later. No.... I dont want to suffer because of him anymore. No....I never want....